This post is not the definitions of all the camera terms that I finally understand: aperture and shutter speed and ISO. Nor will I bore you with a detailed description of photography terms that I'm just beginning to understand: the rule of thirds, tangents, closed corners, leading lines, and such.
While I've learned tons of useful information about photography, that may or may not improve how I take pictures, what this post is about is what I've learned about MYSELF from this 8 week experience. It has been many, many years since I have been a student in a class, I am usually on the other side of the desk. Being the learner instead of the teacher puts a whole different spin on things and has helped me see some insightful, although not very flattering, things about myself.
* I am a procrastinator. This is not breaking news or a shocking discovery to me (or anyone who knows me well). But this bad habit reared its ugly head each week as I procrastinated my weekly homework assignment until the last day (usually even the last hour) before class.
* I have a fear of failure. I care far too much about other people's approval. I am afraid to "fail" or look inferior in front of my peers and teacher. This "fear of failure" was so debilitating that I chose not to even DO the first assignment -- better to use the old "the dog ate my flash drive" excuse than to look/feel stupid as the class critiqued my work. As the weeks went on, I overcame this fear a little and I did complete the other assignments, but I still found myself DREADING doing them and dreading showing them to the class.
* Photography does not come naturally to me. I don't have "the gift." My natural instinct in such cases is to give up and move on to something I AM good at. That's how I've operated my whole life. But that is bad. I am limiting myself by only pursuing those things that come easy. So I am determined to stick it out and learn this skill until I am comfortable using my camera as it is intended and until I can take pictures that I would be proud to hang on my wall. Will I ever be an amazing photographer? Probably not. But I hope that I can improve to a level of competency that will make me happy.
*I have tardy issues. This is apparent in many facets of my life (barely sliding into church as the opening hymn begins, being fashionably late to social events, etc) but it really shows up when you are in school and you walk into a room after the class has begun and all eyes are on you. I have some time management problems that I may need professional help for. I save EVERYTHING for the last 10 or 15 minutes before I am supposed to be somewhere. I can tell myself not to do this, but I find myself doing it anyway...over and over again. I've seen this trait in other members of my family to varying degrees...so I think it is genetic. Eric has tried to cure me of this, but has only made minimal progress.
Who knew school could be so enlightening and eye opening?
Who knew that just adding one class -- for 2 hours a week -- could add so much stress and craziness to my life and the life of my family?
I think I will be putting my dreams of "furthering my education" on hold for awhile. At least until other things in my life settle down a bit.
2 comments:
Whether learned or hereditary, I have all the same bad habits you mentioned here. I'm afraid some of these things seem to get worse with age, or having kids, etc.
Yeah, I'm afraid you learned or inherited some of those things from me! So sorry. I am better at planning things farther ahead at school, but talks, lessons....yup, I still do them at the last minute! I'm proud of you for facing your fears, and learning something new and hard. I tried it with a computer class, but couldn't do it! I need a class that is to teach me specific things that I need/want to do, not the anatomy and technical side of computers. Maybe I'll find something like that in St. George.
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